Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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