I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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