My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
