Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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