I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
