i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
