You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
