Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
