we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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