Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
