the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
