And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
