i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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