we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
