Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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