people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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