Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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