Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hate all girls vehemently.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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