So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
