Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
