I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
