haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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