so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize