everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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