I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
