my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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