And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
