OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
