is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
