If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
