how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
