is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
