He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
