apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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