Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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