Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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