I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
