I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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