HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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