whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
