Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
