Im at strip club and am horny
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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