Tell her she can't have a vagina
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
