omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
