I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
