Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
