I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Be still, my beating vagina.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
