Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
