She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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