you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
