I am puke
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
