what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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