I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize