I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
