So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize