Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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