Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
