so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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