Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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