I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
