Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
