Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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