Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
