Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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